Shameful Indulgences - The Bartender Confessional

Let me regale you with a short story. I was recently out for some food and drinks with my better half when we stopped off by one of our regular haunts for a nightcap. The bartender, who has served us numerous times, greeted us and enquired as to what was taking our fancy.

"Oh I really don't know what I want. Something yummy," said the better half, being her usual indecisive self.

"Well I'm going to have a pint of Guinness and a whisky, Talisker would be good," said I, with the confidence of a man who knew he'd be ready to order his second round by the time the better half got round to ordering her first.

Fully expecting the bartender to start preparing my order I was somewhat surprised when this was the reaction I was met with;



Now, I hadn't asked for anything out of the ordinary but the level of bemusement was such that you'd have thought I'd asked for a Midori & Milk.

"No cocktail?" he asked.

"Not just now, Guinness and a Talisker would be grand."

After this exchange I started to ponder what he'd have done had I asked for one of my Guilty Pleasures, a Snowball or a Pina Colada for example. Granted my typical order in this bar will likely be something brown & bitter or have been created before my parents set foot on this Earth but surely I don't always drink cocktails in this bar. Surely...



Then just the other night I tweeted that I was eating lemon curd on toast (amazing), watching the new Karate Kid film (horrendous) and drinking the beverage I'm about to confess to having an affinity for. To say there were some surprised reactions is an understatement. So I thought, "Fuck it," we all know I'm partial to a Martinez, Zabriskie, Old Fashioned, Last Word, Negroni, Corn & Oil, and so on but sometimes all I want is an ice cold beer or a blended Pina Colada, and I know I'm not alone.

I decided to rope in some friends from around the globe to confess their sins, and I encourage you to do so as well.

First-up in the confessional is my good self...

Adam Elmegirab - Evo-lution / Dr. Adam Elmegirab's Bitters

"My shameful indulgence is the White Russian. I like vodka (so long as it's not with coke), I like coffee and I like milk, so putting all three in the same glass is surely going to work, isn't it? Now I know some of you are sitting there thinking, "I like bourbon, peanut butter and ice cream but I wouldn't put them in the same glass?!?" Well, I urge you to rethink that. Bourbon & Peanut-Butter Milshakes are a thing of beauty.

I've often heard it said a White Russian is a girly drink but as I'm adding 50ml vodka, 25ml coffee liqueur and 75ml full-fat milk to my glass, I'll take a look at my friend's pint of ice-cold 4%abv Tennent's Lager and I know that all is well in the World.

When I'm tending bar and someone asks for a White Russian I always double-take as it's a rare order nowadays compared to a few years back but, I'm not going to lie, it's a damn good drink. And to those that disagree you're welcome to pick-up a carton of full-fat milk and head round to my house to watch The Big Lebowski. I've got the vodka and Tia Maria waiting..."

Next we cross the pond to New York to get a confession from everyone's favourite Gary;

Gary Regan - Ardent Spirits

"I guess that you’d have to say that Jagermeister is my shameful indulgence. People give it a bad rap, but I’m kinda fond of it really. I love Fernet, too, but I always find myself leaning toward the Jager bottle when it’s time for a round of shooters. And when I’m in the U.K. or Ireland, attending some swank cocktail convention or other, if you can’t find me you should look for the nearest pub with real ale and/or well-kept Guinness. It’s a sure bet that I’ll be propping up the bar there."

It is only due to the wonder of technology that we managed to extract the next confession from a man who spends as much time in the air as he does on the ground;

Angus Winchester - The original International Playboy Bartender and Tanqueray Global Brand Ambassador

"As a grizzled old bartender I have many 'shameful' indulgences drink-wise but I'll always claim some clever or sentimental reason behind it.

Firstly I love a WooWoo, you have to remember that I started bartending in the year 2BC (Before Cranberry) and it was an exotic juice plus my first Bar Manager (ex-Coconut Grove in the UK) told me that the WooWoo was cool; 2 parts Stoli, 1 part Archers and 2 parts cranberry juice built with easy speedshake in a rocks glass with lime wedge, and you had to shout woo - woo as you gave it a two step speed shake (or one woo on the back swing and one on the forward swing).

The first ever cocktail I ever drank in a bar (aged 13, I have always been big and looked mature/old/raddled) was a Brandy Alexander. It still makes me smile and I still take great care over making one with two straws laid over the top of the drink and nutmeg or cinnamon dusted over them to form an X.

I grew up in a time when most bars still had Warnink’s Advocaat, and a Snowball (Advocaat, bitter lemon and lemonade) always takes me back.

I spent many years hanging out in Planet Hollywood in London (I had chums and a brother who worked there) and the Goldfinger (a 1800 Marg with Grand marnier, sour mix, and OJ) drunk with five straws so you literally inhaled the drink, was the drink of choice and it just doesn't taste the same if you try and make it 'properly'.

And Mind Erasers, Jack, Kahlua and soda layered in a rocks glass with crushed ice and drunk in one go with 2 straws was equally popular!

And finally I love Macallan and Diet coke, I picked it up in Taiwan about a decade ago when Macallan seemed to be the tipple of choice for the young there, especially young ladies, and so to fit in I tried it and have to say it’s a tasty beverage!"

I'd like to point out that the next man may be of few words in this piece but I can assure you that's not the case should you be lucky enough to spend some time at his bar. I also have to say that this is really a confession to express his undying love;

Mike Aikman - Co-owner Bramble and The Saint

"Undoubtedly Malibu, with coke or pineapple, or even in a Daiquiri, no matter what you make with it you get the impression you are on holiday."

A short journey down to London for the next confession. You may laugh at his guilty pleasure but I can assure you you wouldn't if he came striding into your bar and asked for one;

Nidal Ramini - Bacardi Brown Forman

"Without a shadow of a doubt my shameful indulgence is Frozen Strawberry Daiquiris. Nay, I'll go further, Frozen Strawberry Daiquiris from the Hawaiian Tropic Lounge in Times Sq, NYC. You know the type, sours mix made from powder, strawberries from a can and enough sugar to rush a Water Buffalo. Best drink in the world..."

Next we have a man from the land down under who you'll regularly find behind the pine at a pretty well-known bar in Belfast;

Hayden Scott Lambert - Merchant Hotel

"Every year as a young kiwi boy I flew to that criminal destination known as Melbourne, Australia, to spend some time with my mum. By the time I was sixteen I was fully experimenting with alcohol, mixing anything with beer to make it taste nice. Bottles of cheap Cava flowed over summer and then someone gave me Midori and lemonade! Wow, I couldn't get over how wonderfully refreshing it was, but then it was gone, never to be seen again at any of the wild parties we threw.

Having never seen the bottle it lived only in legend when I was discussing how cool I was or bigging myself up. My next encounter with the Japanese green melon liqueur would be in a bottle shop in sunny Brisbane; my rugby team were on a tour showing everyone just how shit we were. After our tour ended we were allowed a couple of free days, which meant we were pretty much unsupervised, this lead too much booze and much mischief, in the way of fake identification and bottle-o's. Straight into a bottle shop with my shitty fake ID in hand, I rocked on up to the counter and asked for a bottle of famed Midori. I was nervous, I had every right to be, I had trouble getting into an r16 movie in NZ let alone passing for 18.

The bloke behind the counter pointed me in the right direction with a smirk on his face. After a few minutes I realised I was lost and couldn't find the Midori! Starting to panic my face went red and his condescending tone didn't help, “It's the green bottle right in front.” At last, my precious Midori, its famous electric green colour a true representation of melon. That night we all drank Midori and lemonade.

Now when I walk into bars and spot it on a backbar I smile, before quickly ordering a cocktail with it because it tastes bloody great!"

Back over to Scotland now. Here's Paul standing outside Crif Dogs (NYC) likely waiting his turn to get into PDT. Can't imagine he's going there for a June Bug. Or is he? Come on, fess up;

Paul Connolly - Amicus Apple

"Justin Bieber. Oh wait, you mean drinks. I guess I’d have to admit the cocktail I enjoy making more than any other is a Cosmopolitan, for all people knock it, a non-Sex and the City, non-bastardised Cosmo is in my books a greatly balanced drink. As for an indulgence I myself enjoy, although it’s been a while, pints of Snakebite; Lager, Cider and Blackcurrant in a glass, seriously, what’s not to like?!"

Added 12th July 2011 - The gentleman featured in this update would like to apologise for not sending this to me sooner but as you will see he's been working on this piece for the last fortnight. Word of warning, before you get comfortable go fix yourself a June Bug;

Jacob Briars - Formerly known as the Vodka Professor and now known as the Leblon Global Brand Ambassador

"If by 'shameful indulgence' you mean drinks that would appall the current crop of serious and scholarly bartenders, then I would be guilty as charged to loving both flavoured vodka, and blue drinks, but I'm not particularly shamed about my enthusiasm for either of them. In fact, I'll happily slide into the nearest faux-speakeasy and debate with the nearest faux-Professor about their deserved place in serious mixology.

But if by shameful indulgence, you mean a drink I'd make myself at home rather than be seen dead ordering in a bar full of fellow booze-jockeys, then I must own up to a sneaky affection for Frangelico. When I first started bartending in Wellington, my workplace shut at 3 and after cleaning down the bar, the only place left to head for a drink was the local nightclub. One night British ambient-noodle-DJ Mixmaster Morris was in town, and he was roaring through the Frangelico, and bought me one too. Tasting it, I was completely enchanted by this exotic flavour, and having grown up on a farm with dozens of hazelnut trees, no doubt nostalgia played a part too. Though I remain dubious as to how many hazelnuts are actually in it! Shortly after it became my standard after-work drink, and by the standard of both after-work and club tipples, it's pretty embarrassing. I guess I liked it as much for its low proof as anything else, it was a nice halfway drink between work and home. Eventually I was exposed to the (utterly delicious) Frangelico Sour, and now I had two ways to embarrass myself in public. Adding a dash of bitters to the Frangelico Sour became my next trick - spot the budding mixologist!

I was never particularly worried about my public affection for the Italian liqueur with the made-up heritage in the ridiculous bottle. In fact I bet I fancied I looked like someone freshly back from a walk in the hills of Piedmont, rather than sitting in a club listening to house music in the wild of a Wellington winter. I'd even try and convince friends to have one before they shuttled off onto the dancefloor. Eventually some fool working on Frangelico's marketing campaign come up with the dreaded 'Signature Serve' - Frangelico with a squeeze of fresh lime, which was subsequently plastered across the pages of Cosmo magazine and the like, and it became the staple drink for hen nights, and Frangelico and I parted ways (at least, publicly...)

But at home I still love to enjoy Frangelico and the Frangelico Sour (two parts Frangelico, one part lime juice, one part lemon, dash of gomme, dash of bitters please), though the silly rope around the bottle still gets the OCD reflexes going. In fact, after I left one bar job, the day bartender who'd known my hatred for the 'monk's rope' would remove them before putting the Frangelico on the back bar, and as a parting gift, he presented me with a bottle. Wrapped around it were the (literally) dozens of ropes he'd be saving for the last 12 months. Respect for a well-planned gag!

And yes, if I'm out of Frangelico I will admit to also loving Disaronno Amaretto and a freshly squeezed wedge of lemon..."

And to prove that we don't discriminate on this blog we've managed to persuade a midget to tell us about his shameful indulgence which he is conveniently drinking in his picture;

Craig Toone - Glover's

"When you look beyond the Sex and the City image and the badly made ones (girly, pink, therefore gomme is added) the Cosmopolitan is a well made drink - nice balance of citrus notes with a vodka kick, and a great piece of theatre in the flamed zest. Plus its a great conversation starter with the ladies. The unassuming pink concoction in the cocktail glass makes you stand out and lowers the guard of any target demographic (most likely as they think you are effeminate) but a quick quip, "those of us who are secure in our masculinity have nothing to fear about pink," and you're away.

Now I'm not saying when I'm out and about the first thing I go for is a Cosmo, I need to be well oiled (a few Daiquiri's will do that trick), but I'm usually in the company of a fellow bartender who has a sideline in professional MMA tournaments who'll order up the first round. Worryingly for the kind of guy that could teach Jason Bourne a thing or two he starts throwing shapes in the form of ballet moves after one too many! Time to introduce him to the Cosmo perhaps?"

So there we have it, some of the great & good of the bartending World confessing all. Next time you see us at the bar don't be afraid to buy us something outwith the bartender code of conduct, we'll likely buy you one back.

And just so you're aware the better half ended up ordering a Trader Vic Mai Tai with a Baileys on the side. Even she has her shameful indulgences...

*THIS POST WILL BE UPDATED REGULARLY SO SHOULD YOU WISH TO JOIN THE BARTENDER CONFESSIONAL DROP ME AN EMAIL*

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Adam Elmegirab
Bar Consultant / Compounder
Evo-lution / Dr. Adam Elmegirab's Bitters

E-mail: adam.elmegirab@evo-lution.org
Web: www.evo-lution.org / www.bokersbitters.co.uk
Facebook: Adam Elmegirab / Evo-lution Bar Consultancy / Dr. Adam Elmegirab's Bitters
Twitter: @AdamsBitters